Anonymous asked: What convinces you of God, his existence, his word, his necessity in life. I just feel like I'm living a lie pretending to follow it and it's not needed.
Wow anon. Thanks for your honesty. I’ve been there and it can be pretty confusing, particularly if, at one point you didn’t pretend or if you grew up in a Christian environment and it’s all you know.
My answer, I’m afraid, won’t be enough to convince you to believe but I certainly will tell you why I do. It’s because of my experience. There is no definitive scientific proof for God nor can I argue why it is true (at least, not convincingly). The reason I believe that He exists, why He is necessary and why I believe that He is who He says He is, is because I have experiences and moments that have completely persuaded me.
I can’t explain this well or adequately in words, but I’ll try. When things have been really bad, I have found that asking Jesus to be real to me, to help me, to comfort me, to speak to me through his word and his people has resulted in just that: comfort and help. The good points in my life have been better then I could’ve made for myself: they’re gifts from a God who I’ve found can be trusted completely: even with my doubts.
Jesus has become (key word: become - it was a journey) more real to me than anything else and it primarily is because I asked Him to be. I got desperate. If this whole thing was real - and I thought it might be, hoped that it was - then I was going to find out. I prayed. Not fancy, elequont prayers. Desperate, “God if you are real then I need to know you”, honest prayers. And I read the Bible. I read about Jesus. I genuinely looked for Him. And He found me, in my search for Him.
When it comes down to the not needed part, I didn’t struggle with that so much, dear anon. I’ve always been acutely aware of my failings, my inadequacy. I just covered them up. I always knew I needed God.
This is a complex issue anon, one I haven’t answered well here. If we know each other in real life, let’s maybe hang out? @finsheridan is my twitter or text me…
I’m praying for you right now. I know it is a lonely place and a confusing place you’re in. If you’re in a church, asking someone you can trust about this could be helpful. Christians doubt, that’s the truth. We just don’t like admitting it. Asking someone to help you walk through this would be a great next step.